signs he's not Mr. Right

• There's always a rush of emotions when you start dating someone new. It's exciting to find someone you feel a connection with and enjoy spending time with, but there is a lot of worry and uncertainty that comes with new relationships as well. For the first few weeks or months of a relationship, both you and your man are on your best behavior, usually only seeing the best versions of each other. While valuable lessons can be learned from dating people of various personality types, ending a relationship as soon as you know it shouldn't go anywhere can save a lot of heartache. Here are some signs that the man you are dating might not be right for you:

• --You find yourself not always wanting to be around him

  When you are dating someone who is really special to you, you naturally want to spend as much time as possible with him. A friend once told me that he realized his wife-to-be was the right woman for him when he spent a weekend at his parent's house with her and never got tired of being with her. Try spending an extended period of time with your boyfriend, and if you find yourself getting easily annoyed with him or needing a break from him, this could be a red flag.

• --You don't have the same values

  Marrying someone of the same faith makes sense for many reasons, though it is possible for couples of differing religions to have good marriages as long as they share the same set of core, intrinsic values. While having long discussions about his beliefs is important, it isn't enough. You must see those beliefs in action as much as possible. If you, for instance, have certain beliefs about raising children, be sure to schedule some time where the two of you can be around and take care of friends' or family's children. Talk to your boyfriend about how he was raised and see if you are on the same page with discipline, rewards and family rules.

• --He doesn't make you want to be better

  The man you are dating isn't perfect. You aren't perfect. But the direction you are heading is worth examining. Sure, we all have bad days and lazy moments. We all make mistakes with money, at work and in our relationships. If the general pattern of this man's life seems to be progressing toward a better version of himself, consider staying in the relationship. If you notice that he's not attempting to improve himself spiritually, emotionally, physically and financially, it is possible you could be in for a life of future disappointment. He may be fun now, but having fun with him is only one part of a happy life. Being serious about important matters will allow your fun and joy to continue for a lifetime.

Can an affair actually improve your marriage?

• The idea that an affair can be helpful for a marriage is a major rationalization; and here are four reasons why.

• It's a Lie

  I've heard it said and I think its very true -- "You are as sick as your secrets!" Hiding an affair from your spouse is a toxic secret. People keep it secret because they mistakenly think they are protecting their spouse. But the damage has already been done. Keeping it secret only pours salt in the wound.

• It's Selfish

  An affair, even if you come back to your relationship with a renewed sense of appreciation for your spouse, is a very selfish act. What if your spouse cheated on you -- even if they liked you more afterwards -- how would you feel? Most likely you'd feel betrayed, cheated, back-stabbed, like you could never trust them again. So then, why is it OK for you to cheat on them?

• A commitment to another

  Marriage is a financial, sexual, social, institutional, lifelong commitment. You make a promise to dedicate your body, mind, heart and actions to your spouse -- and only your spouse. Having an emotional or sexual affair is committing yourself to another person. It doesn't matter if you like your spouse more after your affair, or if they never find out. You are now committed to that other person as well as your spouse. That "other" commitment will follow you for the rest of your life. That "other" commitment will negatively affect all other commitments.

• A life of no consequences

  Having an affair is an attempt to live a life without any consequences. In other words, you want to have your cake and eat it to. You want a committed, trusting and loving relationship, and you want your lust and fantasies satisfied by another. Sorry, but you can't have it both ways. Isaac Newton's third law of thermodynamics states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Whatever action you take, there is an inescapable positive or negative consequence.
  Do yourself a favor and stop rationalizing. An affair will not somehow magically turn out to benefit you and those around you. It's destructive behavior, and will always be destructive. If you are not satisified with your relationship, that never means it's time for an affair. Instead, invest in your marriage. Build your spouse up. Do the hard work. You'll be glad you did.

NEWS Victim’s Sister Sets The Record Straight About The Family’s Stand On Ibinabo Fiberesima’s Jail Sentence

The sister of the late doctor killed in an accident caused by Ibinabo Fiberesima, Mrs Biola Giwa-Adeyemi has thrown more light on the unfortunate incident which claimed the life of her brother, Dr Giwa. Below is the press statement she sent to Linda Ikeji yesterday.

Mrs Giwa Wrote:
”First of all, the case was between Lagos state Government Vs Ibinabo Fiberesima but not Giwa Vs Ibinabo Febresima. On this faithful day of Feb 26th 2006 along the Lekki Epe Express way, my late brother Dr Giwa was driving with his brother and another family friend in his car coming from a meeting in Ajah, they were held up in a traffic around the evening time, when this tragic accident happened.
Ibinabo was driving towards Lekki while the late Dr Giwa was coming from the other direction facing towards Island, just by shop-rite, when ibinabo’s jeep flipped and lost control from her lane jumped over the culvert or pavement that demarcate the road from the on coming vehicle. The speed that skipped and flipped a jeep over the road demarcation will be considered “Reckless and Endangerment” because the VIO dept checked the jeep brakes, the engine and all the mechanical and electrical of the jeep but the result shows nothing wrong with the jeep and confirm that the accident as due to “OVER SPEEDING” in which the result was on record.

After the accident, Ibinabo left the scene of the accident without checking for any survivors, she took the license plate and registration out of the car and fled from the scene, that was considered “HIT AND RUN”. The people at the scene of the accident recognized her as Ibinabo Febresima, and stated she was drunk.”Driving Under Influence” of whatever she had. The State Department of Transportation has to use the VIN number to locate the Owner of the jeep, in which the owner was Daniel Wilson. That was my very first time of hearing the name of Ibinabo Febresima.The Doctor died at the scene of the accident because the jeep was on top of the Honda accord driven by him and they couldn’t save him on time because of the seat belt and the weight of the jeep, the brother and the other family friend in that car had survived. Did she know the state of mind and the emotional instability of the people involved in that accident up till now, Ibinabo has never been in a Comma.

After all the evidences against her, with the result of the VIO by the State department of Transportation, The DPP office took over and charged her to court and she hired Festus Kiamo in which after reviewing the case he withdrew by saying he cannot represent her because it’s a bad case.

Doctor Giwa has a living mother for goodness sake, wife with 3 children’s, Ibinabo deprived him from seeing his children graduate from university and getting married, also from being the one to bury his mother at her old age, “Whereas no one ever prayed that on the day of their children’s success and happiness they should replaced them with someone else”.

Ibinabo was never remorseful, they brought her to meet with me shortly after my brother’s death in GRA Ikeja before my return back to the USA, but her only concern then was to drop the charges against her. I told her that it’s not my family Vs her but the State Vs her, that where I come from in USA that we do not interfere with the justice system, that they should do their job and advise her to apologize publicly to the masses and to the family and throw herself to the mercy of the court. She said and l quote “I CAN’T DO THAT, BECAUSE IS GOING TO DAMAGE MY CAREER” what an ego, she cannot apologize publicly, I feel like kicking her ass. She’s worried about her stupid career, What happened to the career of the Doctor, who happened to be a ‘MEDICAL DIRECTOR AND THE HEAD OF THE DEPARTMENT OF PHYSICAL REHABILITATION MEDICINE AT GENERAL HOSPITAL LAGOS.

People say there is no justice in Nigeria, but it does once in awhile. The lower court magistrate O.A Isaac found her guilty with the option of 100,000.00 Naira, which is considered a judicial recklessness, 100k does not even buy an iPad, the life of someone does not worth more that 100k, so that people will take the liberty of committing crimes. Later Justice Deborah Oluwayemi of the High court find her guilty and overturn the option of fine and gave her 5 yrs in prison, she spent 3 weeks and came out on bail to go to Court of Appeal, however, how can a convicted person came out on bail, here in USA you will be in jail and they will transport you to and from each time you have an hearing. Finally Appeal court found her guilty and sentence her to 5 years imprisoned.

Let her face the wrath, it is said that you can run but can’t hide, it’s a law of Kama that catch up, This will serve as a deterrent to others. Who will believe after 10yrs she will still be slammed, The Family of the late Dr Giwa had moved on with our life’s, She was forgiven, it was very difficult and painful, but God gave us especially his mother and children the fortitude to bear the loss.

On behalf of our families and friends, we really thank the Lagos State Government, The attorney general Mr Sasore, DPP Mrs Odutola and colleagues, Justice Deborah Oluwayemi, Justice Jamilu Yammama Tukur, Justice U.I Udukwe-Anyawu and Justice Tijani Abubakar and everyone for their support, no evil shall befall anyone, as you all go out and come in, may God’s grace and protection abide with each and everyone. ‘JUSTICE AT LAST’ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUSTICE AT LAST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUSTICE IS FINALLY DONE !!!!!!!!!!!!.
IBINABO HAS NEVER PAID A DIME TO ANY FAMILY MEMBER OF THE LATE DR GIWA AS INDICATED BY HER FRIEND’S, AND IF SHE DID PAY ANY FAMILY MEMBER, SHE NEEDS TO START MENTIONING NAMES NOW”.

Actress Ibinabo Fiberesima's bail application denied

Looks like the actress and mother of three will really spend years in prison over a car accident in 2005 that took a man's life. Her bail application suffered a setback yesterday Thursday March 17th at the court of Appeal in Lagos after the judges ruled that her application was incompetent.

The three man-panel led by Justice U.I Ndukwe-Anyanwu, said that the application was not properly filed as her counsel failed to attach copies of the judgment that was delivered by the court which affirmed the five years jail sentence imposed on her.

The court adjourned hearing for her bail application to April 7th when copies of the March 11th‎ judgement would have been included. She was afterward sent back to prison.

Ibinabo has approached the Supreme Court to set aside the March 11th verdict of the Lagos State Court of Appeal which validated the 5 year jail term handed down to her by the state's High court over the 2005 accident in which her car killed one Dr Giwa.

10 biggest mistakes women make in relationships (without realizing it)

So many people struggle with relationships without understanding what they're doing wrong. It can be frustrating to feel like you can't make things work when you're trying so hard. Here's a list of things that many women do without realizing it that can be hurting their relationships.

• 1. You undervalue yourself

  Some women only want men who are unavailable, while others chase after bad boys. Some women put up with unacceptable behaviors and other women just don't ask for what they deserve. If you notice any of these behaviors in yourself, it's a sign that you need to value yourself if you want to be successful in relationships.
  You may feel that you are "not enough" or that no one could love who you are. These are issues that you need to (and can!) solve on your own. I have met hundreds of women and not one has been inadequate or unlovable. I am confident that you are deserving of respect and love from someone who loves you.

• 2. You're overly masculine and don't appreciate men

  Full disclosure: I believe in feminism and independence. But believing in those things does not mean you shouldn't appreciate the things men do for you. In any relationship, we want to feel needed by the other person. If you exert too much autonomy, your boyfriend or husband will feel unsatisfied with the relationship and potential suitors won't see a place for themselves in your life. When he's kind enough to open a door for you, help you carry a heavy box or pay for a meal, he is not demeaning you or suggesting that you are incapable; he is merely trying to show his affection for you by serving you. Allow him to do that.

• 3. You put everything else first

  With everything going on in life it's easy to put your relationship on the back burner. But it's not hard to see that this will corrode your relationship, because clearly relationships take effort.
  But not only will your relationship die when you neglect it, but putting your kids, job, parents, talents and friends ahead of your spouse makes him feel worthless. Avoid this mistake that many women make by making your man your first priority.

• 4. You look for a man to complete you

  If you're waiting for or dependent upon a relationship to make you feel confident or happy, it's always going to be out of reach because you cannot put that responsibility on someone else; it comes from yourself. People who are happy in relationships are the same people who are happy out of relationships. Develop your own happiness and self-respect at whatever stage you're in right now. It's the only way to attain it (and it will make you more attractive to boot!).

• 5. You withhold physical affection

  You definitely don't have to get intimate too soon or if you don't feel like it. However, choosing to withhold physical affection as a tool to control or manipulate your partner is awful and can cause deep tears to form in your relationship.

• 6. You don't understand men

  Men and women have some essential differences. If you want to be successful in relationships, you need to have at least an adequate understanding of men's needs and desires. Treating him the same way you do your girlfriends isn't going to create a quality and lasting romantic relationship with a man.

• 7. You have unrealistic expectations

  Perpetuated by fairy tales and chick flicks, many women have expectations for love, their relationship and their partner that are just plain unrealistic. Remember that men are human, you are human and you're living a real human life. This means that love is messy and maybe doesn't have so many fireworks going off in the background. If you feel that men are consistently letting you down, honestly evaluate your expectations to see if they're practical or not.

• 8. You compare your relationship

  At whatever stage you're in, from single to married with kids, the terrible mistake of comparison can damage your relationships. You are unique and you should expect your life and relationship to be unique as well. Just because your friend is all gaga over her husband doesn't mean the way you adore your husband is less valuable; and just because everyone on your Facebook feed seems to be engaged doesn't mean that you need to be too.
  Comparison will destroy your relationship satisfaction and can cause you to act in ways or do things that are not right for you and your partner.

• 9. You try to change him

  Of course you should expect your man to evolve and become better, and your relationship should be a component of that. However, you shouldn't be in the business of trying to make him over into the person you think he should be. That's his job. Furthermore, he probably isn't going to change very much in the essentials; his goals, motivations, etc. will probably always be the same. Don't undervalue his good qualities trying to change the bad ones. If you don't like him for him, maybe he's not the person you should be with.

• 10. You don't communicate

  It may seem like you're sparing your boyfriend or husband by choosing not to communicate your opinions and aggravations, but you are definitely destroying your relationship. Kindly communicate your feelings and allow him to do the same. This will develop trust and understanding in your relationship as well as help both of you to better fulfill each other's needs.

10 ways to improve your chances of getting pregnant

• Experts admit that it is still a mystery why some women can get pregnant very easily, while some can spend years trying with no success. Every situation is so different, that there doesn't seem to be one answer. However, scientists and doctors have discovered that certain lifestyle adjustments may increase your chances of conceiving a baby.
  Take a look at these findings and discuss them with your spouse and doctor.
  If you and your spouse are struggling to get pregnant, give some of these daily habits a try.

• 1. Cut the soda

  According to a study co-written by Lauren Wise, Sc.D, fertility rate is 16 percent lower in women who drink two or more servings of any type of soda a day

• 2. Go to bed early

  A survey indicated that women who regularly get seven to eight hours of sleep per night observed better results when undergoing in vitro fertilization (IVF) treatments. It seems a little extra sleep can go a long way.

• 3. Brush your teeth

  Taking good care of your teeth can have more benefits than just a clean mouth. A 2011 Australian study has shown that gum disease may add two months to the time it takes to conceive. If you and your spouse have decided that it is time to start a family, visit your dentist and have a cleaning and assessment done.

• 4. Don't overdo your exercise

  If you are in the habit of exercising and want to get pregnant, do not overdo it. Research suggests that lean women working out vigorously five hours or more per week are 42 percent less likely to get pregnant than women who do not exercise quite so hard. Consider discussing this with your doctor or personal trainer.

• 5. Limit his time in front of the TV

  Is your man the type who likes to sit in front of the TV for hours? Help your husband quit this habit if you are planning on having a baby. In 2013, a Harvard study showed that men who watch over 20 hours of television per week have a 44 percent lower sperm count than those who hardly watch.

• 6. Control anxiety

  Anxiety disturbs those trying to conceive. So, if possible, try to control or lower your stress level. Sarah Berga, MD, explains, "If your stress levels are too high, you will simply stop ovulating."

• 7. Try avoiding gluten

  Gluten intolerance is one of the factors for certain reproduction and fertility problems. A recent study by Columbia University showed that 6 percent of women encountering unexplained infertility issues have celiac disease. The study's author, Peter Green, MD, said, "They produce antibodies which can interfere with the development of the placenta."

• 8. Encourage your husband to lose weight

  Men at a healthy weight tend to be more fertile. Being overweight can cause lower sperm count and concentration, according to a study done in 2013.

• 9. Stop Smoking

  According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, smoking results in lower sperm quality. Therefore it is highly recommended that one stops smoking if trying to conceive. Along with heping to conceive, giving up smoking has other countless health benefits.

• 10. Find another place to put his phone

  A review published by the Environmental Working Group reported that men who keep phones on their belts or in their pants pockets have lower sperm counts, due possibly to electromagnetic waves emitted by the devices.

All Kogi Poly Stdents are given today to pack out of the school premises As Okada Rider Stabs Female Student To Death

A student of Kogi State Polytechnic, Lokoja, Jibrin Aliyat was on Monday night stabbed to death by a bike rider leading to student of the polytechnic yesterday taking to the street, unleashing mayhem on okada riders, burning vehicles and destroying other valuables property. 

This has lead to the closure indefinite of the polytechnic. 

The school Public Relation Officer, Luke Yakubu who disclosed this on phone to Vanguard said the closure is to avoid further breakdown of law and order. He also said all students in the hostel are given till tomorrow (today) to pack out of the school premises. Further day of resumption will be communicated, he stressed. 

Vanguard gathered that the lady, an ND 11 student of in the department of Office and Technology Management (OTM) boarded the bike from the poly gate to her house in Adankola. On getting to the house, the lady offered the usual N100 but the bike man said her fare is now N150 due to the fuel scarcity. Argument over the remaining N50 turned  heated and the Okada man snatched the lady's handset to use as payment for the remaining N50..

 “In the process of collecting her handset back, the Okada, a Fulani man, removed a knife from his pocket and stabbed the lady,Seeing that the lady was bleeding, and trying to return the knife to his pocket, he mistakenly stabbed himself on the thigh and fled away on his bike to the State Specialist hospital; where he was asked to get a police report before he will be attended to.” 

Vanguard further gathered that luck ran out of him when he was still begging for treatment at the hospital, as friends and family members also rushed the lady to the same hospital, sighted him and raised alarm where he was subsequently arrested. The students the second day, Tuesday (yesterday) in protest unleashed terrors on any okada man at sighted in revenge of their colleague who later gave up the ghost at the hospital. The situation also extended to the nearby international market where every stall of Hausa/Fulani were destroyed. The students also burnt down and destroyed many vehicles before security personnel requested for by the school management arrived to quell the situation.

 However, the students who could not be easily pacified took on the security personnel, stoned them, the police also threw in tear gas and shot into the air. Many of the students took the bush path to escape the scenario, with many of them sustaining injuries while they scampered for safety. When Vanguard visited the school, some of the students were seen inside the school still roaring while the security personnel kept vigil at the gate that was partially closed to forestall any trouble. President of the Student Union, Idris Abdulrasaq said the situation went out of control when outside forces took advantage of the protest to loot and in turn destroyed many vehicles. 

He said the suspected fear that police will at end still release the culprit made them led the protest before it went out of control, but said he has been persuading his colleagues to remain calm so that relevant authority can take up the case. .....